


Knocking On Heaven's Door

by Etoile_Filante



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Homeless Castiel, Light Angst, M/M, Original Character(s), Pre-Relationship, Sad Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:39:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6674710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etoile_Filante/pseuds/Etoile_Filante
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being thrown out of the bunker, Castiel ends up in the streets. He's alone, lost and just want to go home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have written quite a lot of fanfics, but this is the first to be published, so I'm kind of nervous.  
> Also, English is not my mother-tongue so even though I tried my best, there is probably some mistakes and some sentences may be a bit wobbly. Sorry about that.  
> Oh and by the way, in this fic, Dean and Sam got rid of Gadreel while Castiel was gone. Otherwise the story wouldn't make much sense.  
> Anyway I hope you like it, don't hesitate to comment :)

Castiel has been homeless for two months now. Since Dean kicked him out of the bunker, he was sleeping mainly in the streets, cold, alone and heart-broken.

Some nights ,he was lucky and could find a bed in a homeless shelter. But tonight, it was too late. Cas has been trying to find a stable job for more than 12 hours now. But who would hire a homeless, dirty, broken man with no humans skills or knowledge of any sort? So now, he had to find a bench, a bridge or just a simple covered area. He was hoping for something that would protect his now too-thin body from the weather. 

Oh of course, he was cold every night, but some nights were way worse than others.   
Tonight, he was lucky; the sky was covered in dark clouds, but the rain wasn't pouring and the wind wasn't blowing ("Yet", Cas thought).

After fifteen minutes of research, Cas found a refrigerator box in an empty alley. He's been homeless long enough now to know it probably belong to someone. But his legs wouldn't carry him further. He was simply exhausted. So he pulled his blanket out of his bag, lay inside the box and tried to sleep. Unfortunately, his thoughts wouldn't let him. He kept picturing the Winchesters in his mind. How Dean practically kicked him out without any explanations, how Sam wouldn't even say goodbye to him and how he's lost everything.

"It's only fair" thought Cas. "I'm useless now."

He missed them so much. Especially Dean, he had to admit. They share a profound and unique bond. Cas never felt this way before and if he once thought that Dean felt the same, he wasn't so sure now. There was a time when the older Winchester was Castiel's personal heaven. But Heaven's gates has been slammed to his face. Literally and figuratively. And for the second time since he arrived on earth, Castiel's heaven was out of his reach. He felt something wet trickling down his face and he knew it wasn't rain.

\----

When he awoke, he was surprised to see daylight. Nobody kicked him out. His back was sore, but he managed to have a full night of sleep. That was something. His position wasn't very comfortable, curled up in a box, but he didn't want to move. He was so tired, despite having slept for almost eight hours. Nothing felt right anymore, he felt empty inside. He wanted nothing more than going back to the bunker. But he knew he wasn't welcome there, he just had to get used to the idea. He gathered his things and the little force he had and got up.  
He walked for fifteen minutes before arriving to his usual and favourite park. He could have stayed in the alley but he enjoyed taking his "breakfast" in front of the lac. He sat on a bench and ate cereals he bought three days ago. They were rather good and certainly made a better breakfast than some cold restaurant's leftover. Thankfully, today's weather was warmer than the last few days.

Unlike many homeless, Cas didn't ask for money. It didn't feel right. He was making money by helping people with daily tasks; washing cars, taking dogs outside, helping a shop owner for a few hours and all kinds of little jobs. He was saving money to buy a new jacket, a razor and a deodorant. He thought a better appearance would get him a better job. 

He was so deep in thoughts, he almost didn't notice the little girl who sat next to him. Cas looked at her and was taken aback. The little girl (who couldn't have been more than 5 years old) had blond hair, green eyes and freckles. If it wasn't for her pink clothes, she would look like a miniature version of Dean. She was eating bread with chocolate and Cas suddenly felt far more hungry than two minutes ago. The girl turned her head, looked at him and smiled, chocolate spread all over her face.

"Do you want some?" she asked while handed him her second and last slice of bread.

"Really?" asked Castiel, a little bewildered by the child's generosity.

"Yes" she laughed. "You seems h..."

"Isabella! Stay with me and don't talk to strangers!"

A middle-aged woman with a tight skirt and bun quickly walked towards them and grabbed the little girl's (Isabella's) hand. She looked at Cas, open her mouth as to apologize, and suddenly closed it. She stared at him and her eyes flickered with a little fear. Even if he wasn't an angel anymore, he could practically read her thoughts. "Homeless".

She caught her little girl by the arm and walked away with her. Cas watched them and saw Isabella turning her head and waved at him with a smile. He waved back. As he began to tidy up his belongings, he noticed something shiny next to his bag. Wrapped up in aluminum foil, there was a slice of chocolate bread.

\----

Three hours later, Cas was helping in a library. The owner, Emilia, was a nice young woman, who was probably 20 years old or so. She had very kind blue eyes and curly brown hair that falls on her breast.

"Cas" Emilia said. "It's almost noon. You should take a break and eat something. I'm heading home for lunch, but you can eat here".

Cas lowered his head and felt his stomach tighten. She was of course expecting him to eat here. He asked for the smallest breaks she could give him just because he needed money. He shaved two days ago and his clothes were still rather clean, she couldn't have guessed he was homeless.

"I...um...I'll eat something in town" Cas said, his eyes accidentally drifting on his bag, in the staff room. He quickly looked back at Emilia, hoping she didn't notice.  
The former angel saw her reaching for her phone, looking at the screen and smile.

"My roommate french fries and I'm sure he made too much. Wanna help us eat them?"

"What?" asked Cas, not sure of what was going on.

"Well, you obviously weren't planning on eating anything, right? You helped me a lot today, this is my way of thanking you."

On that, she picked up her key and held the door for him.

"Coming?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left a kudo on chapter one and to Vivka for her nice comment!  
> Here's chapter two, I hope you like it.

The car drive was calm, but it was a comfortable calm. Castiel was a silent guy with rusty social skills and Emilia was just very anxious and shy. She told Castiel that's why she needed help with the library. She loved working with books and talking about them, but she was really shy and awkward every time someone came to her desk. With Cas here, she didn't need to speak if she didn't feel like it. Besides, the silent drive gave Cas time to think.  
In two months on the street, he rarely got mornings this good. Sure sometimes, he had a good day. But today was really good so far. He had chocolate for breakfast, was invited over to have a proper lunch, a job (Emilia promised him work for at least two weeks) and he made a friend. He didn't know if he could used this word for his relationship with Emilia, but she did invite him to eat and they talked a lot this morning. As far as Castiel was concerned, they were friends. Plus, Emilia's library wasn't too far away from the homeless shelter so he might have a real bed tonight. Everything wasn't good, but everything wasn't all bad anymore. 

\----

When he entered Emilia's place, Castiel felt his eyes water. The house was big, but had a familiar atmosphere, an aquarium with beautiful fish, a lot of plants, assorted furniture and the place was smelling good. Cas hadn't been in a real house for so long, this house was beautiful to look at. He smelled french fries and meat. It wasn't much, but he was dying to eat that.

"William!" screamed Emilia while taking off her coat. "I brought a friend for lunch!"

'Friend' mentally repeated Castiel. "She is my friend".

He heard a kitchen tool being put on a table and a young man appeared on the doorstep between the kitchen and the living-room they were in.  
Just like Emilia, he was probably in his twenties. He wore an oversized sweat that couldn't hide the fact that he was skinny. His blond straight hair was glue to his skull thanks to  
hair gel and his face was the synonym of innocence.

"Bonjour princesse!"

Cas tilted his head and looked at Emilia who was smiling while hugging the blond guy.

"It's a thing between us" she said. "Cas, meet William, my roommate. William, this is Castiel. He's helping with the library."

"Okay!" said William, clapping his hand together and walking towards Cas to vigorously shake his."Nice to meet you Castiel!"

"Cas" he responded. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"Take off your coat Cas, lunch is ready."

\----

William was awesome. He and Emilia were very close, but Castiel didn't feel left out for a second. Emilia turned out to be a talkative and cheerful girl. She confessed she was only herself around people she felt close to. 

"That was really good William. Congratulations on your cooking skills" Castiel said when he was done eating.

"Why thank you Cas" the young man answered with a bright smile. "Now you two go in the living-room. I'm cleaning the table, bringing you coffee and then...then I'll go to work. Now go." he said waving his hand at them.

\----

A few minutes later, Cas and Emilia were sitting on the soft couch, talking quietly. Until she asked a question Cas couldn't answer without lying.

"Where do you live by the way?"

"Ten minutes away from the library" Cas said quickly. He knew that that wasn't a total lie, but he still felt bad. Lying was always a part of human race. And maybe Castiel, Angel of the Lord, savior of Dean Winchester and fallen angel was slowly becoming human.

"Oh, alright" Emilia said with a smile.

He didn't know if he was relieved or sad that she wasn't able to see through his lie. She was so nice...she could help him. But Castiel was nothing but a burden. If Dean didn't want him, then who would?

He didn't want to think about that. Thankfully, she dropped the subject.

"So, do you have a special someone?" she asked with a smirk

"I used to"

"What's her name?"

"Dean"

She seemed surprised and Cas didn't know why. Dean was special to him, so what?

"I see. How long were you two together?"

"Five years" said Cas without even thinking. He remembered. When it came to Dean, he will always remember.

"Oh wow. Why did you guys separate?" Emilia asked, with a look of sympathy on her face.

"He kicked me out"

"I'm sorry Cas. Was he a good boyfriend?"

"Excuse me?" said Cas with a frown. Then, he understood. "No no. It's not that. My apologize, I misunderstood your question. I did not have intercourse with Dean. He was my best friend."

Emilia's face grew red as she put her hands over her mouth.

"I am sorry!"

"That's alright" replied Cas without thinking about hiding the sadness in his voice. Talking had felt great.

Emilia seemed to notice it She poured tea in their now empty cup with a controlled nonchalance.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes"

And he did. He talked for what if felt like hours. By the end of the conversation, he felt a tear streaming down his face. Emilia quickly got up, took a tissue and gave it to him while stroking his hand. Cas wasn't used to human contact anymore, but it felt good. He's been alone for a couple of months now and he felt empty, sad and worthless. He probably was. At this thought, he felt physical pain in his inside. He just needed...he didn't even know what he needed. He only knew one thing, he wanted Dean. When he shared that  
though with the young woman next to him, she reached for her phone.

"Call him" she ordered. "He betrayed you, but you need to sort this out"

She got up and handed him her phone.

"Call him" she said again before leaving him alone.

Castiel stayed still for several minutes. He wanted to call Dean so bad. Those last weeks, Cas needed to find food, water and shelter. But he would have given up everything just to hear Dean's voice. And he now had the possibility to do it. He could call Dean. Dean who is his best friend. Dean who he loved more than anything. Dean who kicked him out... Cas suddenly felt cold. He wanted to hear Dean's voice, but what if Dean didn't want to hear his? At this thought, Cast felt sick.  
He buried his head in his hands and made his decision.  
He was going to call Dean.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic, Sam got rid of Gadreel while Castiel was away. So during Dean and Cas' conversation, Gadreel is gone.  
> I hope you enjoy chapter three :)

Castiel composed Dean's number (he will always remember it) and put the phone against his ear, ignoring the rush of excitement and apprehension. For a moment, he almost wanted to hang up when...

"Yeah?"

Cas raised his head to the ceiling while closing his eyes. It was only a simple word, but he hadn't felt this happy for so many weeks.. He felt like crying but held back the tears.

"He-hello Dean" he said with a broken voice.

"Cas? Cas, is that you?!"

"Yes Dean"

"Oh Jesus, Cas how... wait! How do I know it's you?"

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition"

"Okay Cas" laughed Dean.

There was a little moment of silence before Dean spoke again, this time with a concerned tone.

"Cas I...how' you doing buddy?"

He didn't know if it was the question, the intonation or just the fact that it was Dean, but Cas started to cry.

"I-I'm f-fine D-Dean. How ab-out y-you?"

"Wow wow wow ! Calm down, I'm here! Calm down!"

"M-my ap-apolo-gies" he said, trying to hide the fact that he was shaking.

Those two weeks had been horrible. At one point, Cas almost wanted to die. Hearing Dean's voice, his body let out all the stress and sadness, all the despair. He was about to say something when Dean interrupted him.

"Listen, I'm sorry I kicked you out. I'm sorry, you hear me? Breath Cas, breath" he asked when he heard his angel gasping for air. "Kicking you out was a mistake. But I miss you, buddy."

Cas took a deep breath and managed to calm down. Dean missed him. Dean didn't hate him.

"I miss you too Dean"

"I know Cas. By the way, how are you calling me? This isn't a phone cabin number."

"The cellphone belongs to Emilia. She is one of the friendly human I have met."

"That's great Cas! Do you live with her?"

Cas bit his lips and searched for an answer. It was easy to lie to Emilia or any other human, but with Dean, he couldn't find anything.

"No. I do not share her apartment"

"Then where do you live?"

"..."

"Cas? Where do you live?"

"..."

"Cas" said Dean with a hesitant voice. "Do you live in the streets?"

"Yes" answered Cas with a small voice.

"Son-of-a-bitch! You should have told me! It's been two freaking months, we could have help you! We would have help you!"

"You kicked me out" stated the former angel. He wasn't angry, but he couldn't understand why Dean seemed so surprised by the fact that Cas didn't call sooner. The dark-haired man never wanted to leave the bunker. It was the Winchesters' decision.

"Cas I..."started the older hunter.

"You don't have to say anything Dean. It is..."

"Come back"

That was unexpected. Cas looked at the phone's screen in disbelief. Did Dean really mean what he thought he meant?

"Coming back?"

"Yeah Cas. Come back to the bunker, to us. Come back to me."

Cas didn't know what to think, it was just so tempting... Seeing Sam again. Seeing Dean... "Come back to me". Cas wanted to believe those words, but he didn't want to be disappointed yet again.

"Cas" began Dean as if he was reading his thoughts. "I made a mistake okay? I admit it. So now, you bring your feathery ass to the bunker and you don't forget to bring pie with you!"

"Alright Dean" said Castiel

"Where are you? I can't go looking for you right now, we're on a very important case.

"I'm in Seattle, I believe."

"Crap, that's far. You'll be able to come back on your own?"

"Yes" responded Cas quickly. "But it might take me some time."

"How long?"

"Maybe a month" shrugged Cas.

There was a short pause until Dean spoke again.

"Alright. Take your time. Find money, make sure you eat enough and please, find somewhere to sleep. There's cheap motels everywhere. I don't want you in the streets."

"I'll try Dean."

"Oh and Cas... I know it will be rough times but... you have my number memorized yeah? Sam's too?"

"Yes, I do"

"Please when you can, call us. I'll sleep better knowing you're okay."

"I promise Dean"

"Take care Cas. I..um..I can't wait to see you " said Dean, shyly.

"I look forwards to see you too"

"Bye Cas"

"Goodbye Dean"

He hung up.

Castiel put the phone down and stared at the floor for two minutes. He was going to come back home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who gave this story a kudo ! Don't hesitate to comment to tell me what you fic of what I've written !  
> Here's chapter 4!

He rose from his seat and went into the kitchen where Emilia was waiting for him with "earphones" on. As soon as she saw him, she turned off her phone and walked towards him.

"So? How did it go?"

"He apologized and asked me to come back"

"Wonderful!" exclaimed Emilia. "Where does he live?"

"In Kansas"

"Oh. So I guess you have to leave now huh?"

Cas lowered his eyes. He only knew the brunette for a day, but he didn't want to leave yet. With this job, he had access to water, food, shelter and had friends. He needed money, he promised Dean. Surely, staying a few days wouldn't hurt.

"Not now" replied Cas. "Not before a week at least."

Emilia's smile was so big, it warmed Castiel's heart.

"Wonderful! Now grab your coat, we need to head back to work."

\----

The next three days had been good. Cas was making money, eating food every day (he was invited over to Emilia's and William' place for every lunch) and had a place to sleep at the shelter. This building was a blessing. Cas could shower, eat, sleep and even find some clothes. Of course, it was dirty and some of its occupants weren't exactly friendly, but it was more than enough.  
But eventually, he'll have to leave. With his job at the library and some help he offered during his spare time, he had enough money to travel back to Kansas. If he was careful, he could probably eat a little something every day. The only problem would be to find a place to sleep. Cas didn't have much hope about that. He promised Dean he wouldn't be on the streets but he couldn't afford bus tickets, food and motels unless he stayed longer. And he just wanted to go to the bunker.  
He thought about stealing something and he hated himself for it. He wouldn't be able to steal a shop, couldn't steal from the shelter (it didn't felt right. He wasn't the only one who needed help) and the thought of stealing William and Emilia after everything they did for him was unbearable.  
So on his last day in town, he made his decision. He wouldn't steal. He was used to the streets anyway. He would be fine.

\----

Around six pm on his last day, Cas was sitting with William on his couch. The young man wouldn't stop talking about how great his boyfriend was and Cas didn't even thought about asking him to stop, it felt nice to feel happiness, even if it wasn't his own. Then, William changed the conversation.

"So, you're leaving us tomorrow right?" he said with a small hint of sadness in his voice.

"Unfortunately yes. But I have to go to Kansa in order to find my friends."

"Kansas!" exclaimed William. "That's far. Do you have a plan?"

"No, I do not have a map."

The blond seemed confused.

"I mean, how are you going to go there? Where are you going to eat, to sleep?"

"I have enough money to travel, I presume. I will sleep in a...a motel. And I will find what to eat, do not worry."

"No no no" said William, shaking his head. "I refuse. Come with me."

Thirty minutes later, Castiel had a new backpack full with sandwiches, soap ("do not use those insensitive 'soaps' in motels! They'll kill your skin!" advised William), a warm blanket and a set of clothes. To William, it didn't seem like a lot, but to Castiel, those things could save his life.

"I'm sorry" said William. "I can't give you more. We don't exactly run on money either"

Cas wasn't used to human contact yet, but he followed his instinct and wrapped the smaller man into a tight hug.

"That's more that I could have ever asked for" replied Cas when he withdrew. "Thank you very much. To the both of you"

\----

And eventually, the day after, Cas left. And saying goodbye was one of the hardest things he had to do since he left the bunker.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone !  
> Again, thanks to everyone who gave a kudo and to boundless_and_bare for the nice comment !  
> Since my final exams are in less than a month, I'm not sure I'll post chapter 6 next week. I'll probably be a few days late... Sorry about that.  
> Anyway, here's chapter 5 :)

Cas was sitting in a bus with his head against the window. It was seven am and the former angel was on his way to the bunker. Saying goodbye has been harder than he had planned. Emilia had been kind enough to pay him the first bus travel. It will take him in a town where he will find somewhere to sleep. At least, he hoped so. Cas would spend his whole day on the road but he didn't mind. He was clean, comfortable, had a blanket, food and Emilia gave him some books to read. The series was called "Harry Potter" and Cas (who had already read the first five chapters) liked it a lot.

Since Emilia paid him his first travel, he could probably sleep in a motel tonight. Cas smiled at that thought. Sure, it will be just for one night and the problems would start soon enough but after all what he's been through, he learned that he should appreciate the little things in life.   
He was reading Harry's first visit in the Diagon Alley when a young teenager sat next to him. The bus was full of people and the young man had no other choice but to sit next to the former angel. He didn't look too happy about that though. While he was quickly tipping of his phone, never once looking up, Cas took the time to look at him. The kid's look was something Cas never saw before. He had pink and brown hair, several "tattoos", lots of bracelets and a circle in the nose. Cas thought he looked a little threatening, but then the teenager smiled at his phone and it light up all his face. Cas laid back against his seat and resumed his reading with a smile on his face. It sounded dumb but seeing people smile made him feel good.

Around midday, the bus driver stopped at a gas store.

“For those who need to go further, you have 30 minutes before we leave again. Don't be late.”

Cas got up, took his bag and got out of the bus. He has just spent six hours on a bus and while the seats were quite comfortable, he needed a breeze of fresh air. The food in the shop looked tempting but Cas already had sandwiches made or brought by William and he needed to save cash as much as possible. So he head towards a couch in the shop but before he was even able to take his sandwich in hand, a young boy in a uniform remind him in a tone that was everything but friendly that he needed to order something if he wanted to eat here. Cas took the time to think about it. He didn't have a lot of money to spent on something he already had, but he surely didn't want to stay outside. The weather wasn't frizzing, but it was still too cold for Cas's likening.  
So he got up and wandered in the shop's alleys. He stopped brutally when his eyes came across something; there was a shell full of pies. Different shapes, flavor and design. For a full minute, Cas wouldn't move. “You bring your feathery ass to the bunker and you don't forget to bring pie with you”. That's what Dean said. And while Cas had now enough experience with humans to know the hunter was kidding, he couldn't help but reach for the cherry pie. 

("How long?")

("Maybe a month")

Deep down, Cas knew the pie wouldn’t last that long, he would be rotten long before he arrived to the bunker. So he made a promise: no matter what, he will come back to the bunker with a pie for Dean and would manage to find something to Sam. But if he was truly honest with himself, he knew pie was the most important.  
So instead, he picked the cheapest bag of chips he could find. He could always keep them for later. He paid for them and saw the man from earlier smiling kindly at him. Cas took his bag and went sit down as far as possible from the cash registers . Humans were weird.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone...  
> I know that I haven't posted anything in more than a month. I thought I could keep writing during my finals but obviously, I failed. I'm sorry to those who were waiting for this chapter.  
> But now I am in holidays which means I'm going to write a lot more !  
> I hope you like this chapter :)

While eating his sandwich, Cas felt an irresistible need to call Dean. Of course, he knew it was stupid, he promised to call him to keep him updated on his situation. Not just  
because he wanted to. But now that he had thought about it, he couldn't get the idea out of his head.  
Castiel turned his head left and right and then noticed an old lady. She was sitting by herself at a table, eating a salad with a kind smile on her face. Next to her, was her cellphone.  
Without thinking twice about it, Cas rose from his seat and went to her. After all, Sam and Dean have always lent him their phones if he needed too. Apparently, that was just something humans do.

He tapped the lady's shoulder and when she turned around, he couldn't help but gasp. While the lady was pretty old, she had malice in her eyes, playfulness. It was like her body grew old, but her eyes didn't. But what truly took Castiel by surprise was their colour. Golden whiskey. Just like his brother Gabriel, who died almost three years ago. Cas closed his eyes briefly and tried to focus on the woman who was looking at him with that same kind smile she had been wearing earlier.

"Excuse me...errr... I'm on my way to my friend's house and I'd like to call him but my phone died" Castiel lied. "If you could be nice enough to let me borrow yours I could..."

"Sure dear !" the woman said, interrupting Castiel' sentence. "Just stay close, please"

Castiel nodded and dialed Dean's number.

"Yeah?"

"Hello Dean"

"Cas! How 'you doing buddy?"

"Good. I am calling to let you know that I am on my way to the bunker"

"That's great ! I told Sam you were coming home. By now, he probably already installed Netflix in your room!"

Cas didn't bother to ask what a Netflix was, too busy smiling about the fact that Sam wanted him back too.

"Dean, I can't talk for too long. This isn't my phone."

"Ok then. Remember, stay safe and avoid the streets. See you later Cas"

"Goodbye Dean"

He thanked the lady, handed her phone back and went back to eating his sandwich.  
Shortly after that, it was time to go.

\----

Castiel spent another six hours on the bus. He didn't get bored thought. He had finished the first "Harry Potter" novel, talked with a nice little boy whose parents were too distracted by their phone to watch him and listened to some "popular" and "fun" music, thanks to the bus driver. He quickly discovered that "pop" music was not his thing. But still, he had to admit, he tried to sing along to a song that was about blank spaces. That one he could tolerate.  
When the bus finally stopped, Castiel found himself in a small town. He entered the motel that was the closest to the bus stop. But as soon as he looked inside, he felt his heart racing. The entry of the hotel was full of people and there was only a few keys left on the wall.

"No" thought Castiel. "This can't be happening. I promised Dean. I don't want to be homeless again."

He felt his throat tighten and sat down next to a window, his head between his hands. Panic was taking over him and he had troubled breathing. He didn't want to sleep outside anymore. He thought he was done with that. No no no no no...  
Through the ringing in his ears, he heard a woman saying that people still in the hall will probably need to leave. Castiel didn't move. Castiel couldn't move. He heard shouting, grumbling, footsteps and then silence. He looked up and saw that everyone had left except for a teenager girl, a single day with a baby in his arms, a family of four and Castiel himself.  
Thankfully, the manager had just enough rooms for them. Castiel clasped his hands together and raised his head to the ceiling. He wouldn't sleep on the streets tonight. 

Despite everything that had happened to him, he addressed a quick "thank you" to his father before going to his room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone !  
> So this fic is almost over, I think the next chapter will be the last. But for now, here's chapter 7 ! Enjoy :)

For three weeks, this has been Castiel's routine. Travel, eat, find a motel, sleep and repeat. Sometimes, he would help in a shop for a couple of hours to earn money. So far, he kept his promise. It's been almost a month since he last slept on the street. Now, Castiel had less than a week to travel before being back to the Winchester. He's been tempted to call them so they could pick him up, but in the end, he would always end up changing his mind.  
He had called Dean a couple of times and even had the chance to talk to Sam for a few minutes. Sure, Castiel shared a special bond with Dean and he couldn't deny that he had a preference for Dean but still, it felt good to hear the younger hunter's voice. Sometimes, Castiel couldn't understand why such a nice human ended up being Lucifer vessel. In Castiel's opinion, they were nothing alike.

\----

Lying on the motel's bed, Castiel was worrying. The last 3 weeks have been rather good. He enjoyed traveling the human way, he discovered food he never tasted before (he was also really close to join his big brother Gabriel in his obsession for sugar) and the nights had been good too. But eventually, he ran out of money.  
For now, there was a storm outside that was keeping him from helping people for money. He resigned himself to just enjoy the softness of the bed. Because tomorrow, he wasn't sure where he will be sleeping. The bunker was so close and yet, with the lack of money, it felt so far. Sleeping outside was his biggest fear. When Emilia and William helped him prepare for his journey, he was naive enough to believe he was done with being homeless. Cas felt his heart beating faster and he started sweating. He didn't want to sleep outside. The thought terrified him. It was almost 2am and the former angel wanted nothing more than to sleep. He forced himself to think happy thoughts. Soon enough, he'll be with Sam and Dean again. He tried to convince himself that being homeless for just a week wasn't that terrible. At least, he could see the end of the tunnel. Most people didn't have that chance. He'll be fine, he'll prove that he can be a hunter. He'll make the Winchesters proud.  
With this last thought, Castiel curled himself in the warm sheets and let sleep with the battle.

\----

The next morning, Castiel took the biggest break first he had ever had. When no one was looking, he wrapped food in towels and put them in his bag. He knew that he couldn't afford to spent his last dollars on food and stealing a blanket was impossible. He felt wrong, stealing those pastries, but the motel had plenty of them and Castiel would soon be desperate for food. He tried to comfort himself by thinking that he paid for all of this. It didn't work that well. He knew Sam and Dean would have felt no remorse, having stolen more important things than some croissants in their life as hunters.

“It's part of the job I suppose”

He spent the day searching for a quick job in order to earn money, but found nothing.

“That's it” thought Castiel. “I'm back in the street tonight”.

\----

Around 9 pm, as Castiel was trying to find a place to sleep, he couldn't help but feel sick. He didn't really know what was happening to him, but it felt like an icy hand was crushing his heart, making him feel cold inside. He tried to think about something else, but to no avail.  
Thankfully, he found a corner with a dirty blanket folded in four. Castiel thanked his father before remembering that He probably didn't want to do anything with him anymore. He prayed to Him every single day since the first time he slept in a motel, three weeks ago. But even when Castiel was at his lowest, He wouldn't answer. Maybe Castiel wasn't worthy anymore. Maybe he became truly useless the second he became human. Shaking his head to force those unpleasant thoughts away, Cas laid down and drifted off to sleep

Not an hour later, he was woken up by a sharp pain in his abdomen. He tried to stand, but a foot kicked him in the face, sending him back on the pavement.

“This is our ground” a deep voice said, sounding everything but friendly

“What?” weakly answered Castiel, still under the shock of the punches. “I...”

He didn't have time to finish his sentence before he was brutally kicked in his left eye. Castiel didn't know much about human injuries, but he knew he definitely gained a black eye.  
He tried to defend himself, but the second he manages to stoop up, strong arms grabbed him from behind and prevented him to move and to defend himself. He could do nothing but wait for the next punch. In a desperate attempt to get out of this situation, he prayed to his brothers and sisters. At least, the one he knew he could trust to save him.  
But no one came.  
Frightened and alone, Castiel didn't know what to do. So when the arms that were holding him brutally sent him on the ground again, he curled up on himself and waited for his punishment to be over


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry, I'm a week late.  
> Between the birthdays, family reunions and what happened in Nice... I couldn't find the time to write.  
> But I'm back for the last time on this fic.  
> This chapter is longer than the others, I hope you like it :)

Castiel didn't remember when he fainted, but when he woke up, he felt weird. He was in pain, that he could feel. But it was distant. He didn't have the strength to completely open his eyes, blinded by a white light, but he knew he wasn't in the streets anymore. He was laying on a warm bed and wearing a...a dress ? The last thing he saw before passing out again was someone walking towards him. 

\----

The second time he woke up, he felt better. The light was blinding anymore and it seemed like no one was watching him in his sleep. He took a better look at his surrounding and quickly understood that he was in a hospital.  
“This is weird” thought Cas.  
He was homeless and didn't have any friends apart from Emilia and William who live several states away. So who brought him here?  
Castiel tried to get up, but a sharp pain in his ribs prevent him to do so. He still managed to sit up, only to discover that his bag wasn't in the room.

“Oh no...”

If Cas thought that sleeping on the street was terrible, he now discovered that losing his bag was so much worse. He felt like shouting and crying and also kicking something. Inside that bag was everything he owned. Granted, that wasn't much, but that just made it worse. He had already so little and managed to lose it all. Anger took over him and he thought he might punch the wall behind him. But Castiel was smart. He knew that punching a wall while being human would only result in him getting another injury. Fortunately , he had been a soldier of Heaven long enough to learn how to control such intense emotions. Sure, humans' emotions were a lot harder to handle, but Castiel was stronger than that.

“Good, you're awake !”

The unexpected voice made Castiel jump. He turned his head towards the door and instantly recognized the person that was standing in his room the first time he woke up.  
In the doorway was standing a woman. She looked older than Sam and Dean, with short brown hair. She was wearing a sheriff uniform that would have scared Castiel if it wasn't for the kind smile on her face.

“You've been asleep for almost a day now! The nurses said they'll let you out tomorrow” she said.

She was now sitting at the bed of the bed, still wearing that smile like Castiel was a long time friend.

“Excuse me, but do I know you?” asked Castiel, feeling weirdly rude.

The woman straighten her back, with an amused look on her face.

“They didn't tell you about me, did they? I'm not surprised” she laughed. “Name's Jody Mills, I'm a friend of the Winchesters”

“Really?” ask Castiel, almost fearing that it was a lie.

“They called me about a month ago, telling me to look out for a dark haired man with blue eyes named Castiel. They were worried about you.”  
Cas lowered his head and stared at the white sheet on the bed.

“I need to go to the bunker” he whisperer

“You're not there yet, but I'll drive you” she smiled

Cas frowned and titled his head. He had never heard of that woman before. How could he know she was telling the truth ?  
Jody must have read the doubt on his face because she pulled out her phone and touch the screen a couple of time. Then, she put the phone on the bed, between the two of them and waited. And waited. Until...

“This is Dean Winchester”

Castiel, startled by the voice, put his hands on his mouth. She wasn't lying. The bunker was close. She will take him there. All of this was over.

“Hi Dean, this is Jody Mills”

“Did something happened?”

“You could say that. I have a man with big blue eyes in front of me who wants to be sure I'm friends with the Winchesters”

“Cas is with you ?! How is he? Where did you find him?”

“He'll tell you that himself” replied Jody after glancing at the former angel. “But yeah, he's with me. I'm taking him to the bunker. He'll be here tomorrow. Is that okay with you?”  
Dean seemed to hesitate for a few seconds.

“I have a job to do...but Sammy will be there. Is that okay with you Cas?”

Castiel, who still hadn't talk, looked at the phone in disbelieve. Tomorrow. I'll be reunited with the brothers tomorrow.

“Yes Dean. I look forward to see you and Sam”

“Tomorrow Cas” said Dean with a tender voice that put a smile on Castiel's face.

“Tomorrow” repeated Cas

“Okay Dean I'm gonna have to hang up now. See you next time.” interrupted Jody.

“Bye Jody. Thank you”.

Jody put the phone back in her pocket and smiled at Castiel.

“So, you trust me now?” 

\----

That night, Cas fell asleep with a smile on his face. Earlier, Jody had opened a cabinet and pulled out his bag, with all his belongings still in it. And tomorrow, he will finally be back home. Even with his ribs still hurting him, Cas felt happy. It was all over.

\----

When he woke up the next morning, sun was barely rising. He knew he should used the hours he had left before they let him out to sleep, but he wasn't tired anymore. His ribs were still aching but the pain wasn't unbearable anymore. He felt ready to hit the road.  
He knew it was going to take a couple of hours before the nurse let him out and before Jody would pick him up. So he took his bag and looked at what he had left. He still had the Harry Potter books Emilia gave him and a couple of soaps that belonged to William. He had lost the blanket two weeks ago. He had been sleeping on the bus, the blanket on his lap but when he woke up, it was missing. Castiel felt really bad. The only thing left were a pair of dirty sock and an empty water bottle. Of course, the mans who jumped him took what little money he had left.

“That was supposed to be for Dean” mumbled Cas, trying to ignore the disappointment and sadness he felt inside. He had just enough to buy a slice of pie and maybe a “smoothie” for Sam. Now, he'll have to go back to them empty-handed. Great.

“Looking for something ?” a voice asked.

A nurse was standing next to the door. She had straight ginger hair that barely reach her shoulders and a smile on her face. She was obviously waiting for Castiel to answer her question.

“I just...I had money...” replied Castiel while playing with the strap of his bag.

“I'm sorry em...Castiel is that right ? When the sheriff will be back, I think you'll need to answer a couple of questions”

Castiel looked at her, trying not to show his panic “What kind of question?”

“Family name for a start” she laughed. “Where you come from and all that. Nothing too serious, don't worry.”

There was moment of awkward silence during which Castiel decided to pack his stuff to put his bag next to his bed. As soon as the bag was on the ground, the nurse broke the silence.

“I'm happy you're feeling better and we're going to release you soon but you should really lay down. You need to rest a little bit more.”

“I understand” agreed Castiel while laying on the bed. He didn't want to make that nurse angry. Better stay on her good side.

So he waited. For almost an hour, he waited Jody.  
When she finally came, Castiel was staring to doze off. He wasn't even really tired, just bored.

“Hi Cas !”

“Hello Jody” he replied with a smile

“We're leaving as soon as you're dressed. Need help? I can call your nurse”

Castiel was about to say no when he remembered what his nurse said.

“The nurse” he told Jody. “She wanted me to answer questions. I don't have answers”

Jody bit her lips and looked at the ground. She seemed lost in her thoughts for a few seconds before looking at him again.

“You know what? I don't care. We're leaving as soon as you're dressed. I'm sure leaving with the sheriff will spare you the questions. I'll be outside” she said, leaving the room.

As soon as she was out, Castiel got up and put on his clothes. He was surprised to see that they were clean. Quickly, he grab a piece of paper and a pen and left a note with “thank you” written on it. He didn't really know who the note was for. But the hospital took him in when he was no one and he was now leaving like a thief. Doing so without letting them know that he was grateful felt wrong.  
He put the note on his pillow, took his bag and followed Jody to her car. 

\----

The travel was a blur and Castiel didn't remember most of it.  
When Jody stopped the car, Castiel looked outside and forgot how to breath. He was in front of the bunker. Finally.

“Do you want me to come with you?” asked Jody

Cas almost wanted to say no, for selfish reasons. He just wanted to enter, say hello to Sam and collapse in his room until Dean was back. He wanted to leave his life as a homeless man behind. But he also knew he probably wouldn't be here yet if it wasn't for Jody. She is a friend of Sam and Dean too. She had every right to come with him. She was so nice.

“Sure” he eventually said

 

Cas didn't know if he should knock. Jody helped with that choice and push the door to go inside.

“I told Sam we were arriving” she winked “Go”

Cas went down the stairs and what he saw made his eyes water. Everything was just like he remembered. Nothing had changed, like he left yesterday. And then there was Sam, sitting on a table with a big smile on his face.

“Hi Cas” he said with a cheerful voice that didn't do a great job at hiding his emotion

“Hi Sam”

Without warning, Sam got up and took the former angel in his arms, giving him a hug that felt like home.  
After a few seconds, Sam let go of Cas to look at him.

“Dean is away, but he should be home tomorrow morning”

“Yes, he told me that” nodded Cas

“Do you wanna eat something ? Or maybe sleep ?”

“No thank you. Jody gave me food while she was driving and I don't feel tired”

“Right. Hi Jody !”

The sheriff walked towards Sam and gave him a quick hug.

“It was nice to see you kiddo, but I need go back on the road. Sioux Falls won't last long with its sheriff”

Sam smiled and promise her she will always be welcome here. Then, Jody gave Cas a hug and smiled too when he hugged back and whispered “thank you”. She climbed the stairs and just like that, the second nicest woman Cas has ever met was gone.

 

Cas spent the next hour telling Sam what happened. He was careful to just talk about the fact and not mention his own feelings. Sam was so strong and so full of hope even when everyone, including Dean was giving up. He didn't want to sound weak.  
By the end of his story, Sam had his head in his hands. He was silent for a few minutes before he started talking without looking directly at Cas

“I'm sorry Cas. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that.”

Castiel's heart ache at the sight of the young man who didn't dare to look him in the eyes.

“That's ok Sam, it is all over now. I am the one who is sorry though. I had money before going to the hospital. “ he explained when he saw Sam's confuse look. “I was going to buy pie for Dean since he asked for it and maybe something for you...”

Sam laughed and Cas failed to understand why. When he voiced his confusion, Sam looked at him with a smile on his face and then reach into his pocket. He pulled out a twenty dollar bill and gave it to him. When Cas was about to refuse when Sam interrupted him.

“We helped a old woman two weeks ago with a ghost problem. Just a quick salt 'n burn. She looked ready to climb in the car and follow us to the bunker if we didn't take the  
money. I'll follow you around the bunker too if you don't take it.”

Cas reluctantly took the money and thanked Sam. Then, the young man stood up and told Cas to follow him. They had shopping to do.

At the end of the trip, Cas had spent all of his money on a apple pie and a milk-shape for Sam.  
When they were back to the bunker, Sam showed Castiel his room. If before, the room was dull and all brown, it was now quite welcoming. The hunters put a small TV in front of the bed, changed the sheets so they were now blue and put a few book on the shelves. There was also an old picture of them with Bobby, Ellen and Jo. And finally, on the bed, was Cas' trench coat. Castiel couldn't believe it. He had put it in a dumpster when Dean kicked him out. It was unbelievable to see it here.  
They spent the rest of the day on Castiel's bed, watching TV. They ate their dinner in a comfortable silence and when Cas headed to bed, Sam told him something he will probably never forget.

“You were really brave Cas. You're a true Winchester.”

\----

When Castiel woke up the next morning, he felt happy. Truly and really happy. Yesterday has been great and today, Dean was coming back. And he had the pie !  
He went to his wardrobe and pulled out some clothes he didn't remember having before. He made a quick mental note to thank the brothers for that too.  
He went to the kitchen and suddenly stopped. Dean was in the hallway, staring at him in shock.

“Cas” he said with a hoarse voice

“Hello Dean” Castiel replied

And suddenly, everything was perfect. Dean was with him and holding him in his arms. For the first time since he was at the bunker, Castiel almost cried. He swallowed a sob and Dean pushed him back to look at him. When Cas felt the first tear fell, he tried to turn his head to hid it, but Dean cupped his cheek and used his thumb to wiped the tear.

“It's alright Cas, you're home”

 

Sam didn't saw Castiel that day. The former angel spend his day with Dean doing God-knows-what. He didn't really want to think about that. He saw the look in Dean's eyes this morning, when Sam confirmed that, yes, Cas was home. He also didn't miss the way Dean couldn't stop smiling when he came to take some food around noon.  
Sam was rather amused by the whole situation. He knew that no matter what was going on between them, he would be okay with it.  
Because Cas was home. And he was family.

\----

That night, Cas slept in Dean's arms, his lips still red from all the kissing.  
He couldn't believe his luck.  
After so much suffering, so much pain, so much disappointment, he was finally where he belonged. He didn't care much about being an angel anymore. He had found Heaven on earth, next to the Winchesters.  
And this time, he was staying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we go! Castiel is home, I finally finished with fic and you got a really cheesy ending! (sorry about that )  
> Thanks everyone who left a kudo and to those who left a comment ! I was really nervous about posting this, but I'm glad I did!  
> Merci :)


End file.
